Yay! Christmas is almost here! This holiday is getting me STRESSED!! I'm such a poor girl, and I JUST got a job. All my munny for this month so far and the last week of November has gone to gifts for other people. All I've bought for myself within the $250-$300 are two manga, sleeping pants, headphones, and. . . oh, wait,that's it. All under 50 buckaroonies. *sigh* That's what I get for having so much friends. :( But it's okay. I'm hapy to buy gifts. I'm just sad I don't make a lot of munny and that I didn't get the job sooner. Well, my first paycheck went to my credi card bill, a whopping $52.12. =.= And my tip went to McDonald nuggets for four people. My $62 for my two training days went to paying for most of a meal at Osaka Sushi. The rest went to, let's see. Oh yeah, gifts. =/ And I still need to do Christmas shopping for Thanh, Thien, Ashley, and John. I still want to get Juan more stuff. Maybe I'll just give Ashley some posters. o.O I also have to buy cookies and ingredients for food.
Then, there's Sacanime.
Maybe I'll just ask my mom for munny for Christmas. I have two more paychecks until Sacanime and two more tip days. Maybe I'll have at least a hundred bucks for Sacanime, but I think I'll save my the rest of my paycheck after paying my credit card bill that month. I need Samurai Deeper Kyo Manga. *sigh* It has suddenly become hard to find, but Sacanime might have it.
Ahh, and to save up for Anime Expo, a goal of $500. T.T
Need second job. BADLY. I have bills to pay, and I'm getting a car soon, having to pay for my own insurance and gas (live far from Elk Grove, you know). If anyone can help me out, I'd really appreciate it. Just tell me what places are hiring, and I'll go apply. >:3 Please! I really need it, mang!
Anyway, it's getting late, and I sleepy. So, good night everyone! Until next time! <3
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
"Hanging by a Moment" -Lifehouse
Thanh and Thien came over today to play Monster hunter, but I couldn't play because Juan was using my Psp. :( I was so left out. Instead, I went on the laptop. I'm excited to be playing Monster Hunter and Dissidia. It's quite fun! Does anyone else want to play with me? :]
Today, I woke up and went to class. I played my Psp in the bathroom, and some lady turned off the light when she walked out. I was like, What the fuck, you crazy bitch? Then, two people walked inside and were like, Why is the light off? And the black girl was on the phone saying, OMG. I walked into the bathroom, and there's a girl sitting in the dark! I'm hella freaked out right now!" Crazy bitch! I didn't even turn off the light. T.T I was frightened when she turned it off and I was alone in the dark. I went to class and went home. I fell asleep after I ate a sandwich. I woke up, and Thanh and Thien came by like 20 minutes later. Thien made me watch a youtube video called Voldo Dance 4. It was pretty damn funny. xD I made noodles for lunch tomorrow. The only highlight of my day is finding out how cheap Ashley can really be. It's quite appalling. But that's just one of her many hidden qualities. Worse is I tell her it's wrong of her to be that way, but she just brushes it off and tries to be cute and saying she needs to buy stuff for herself. New pair of boots? What a necessity! I almost feel like I should warn Thien, but he seems to really like her despite what he knows about her already. Oh, well. As long as it's not. . . .
Well, I'm off to write in my other blog. I must pour out my heart or else I'll suffocate. Night, all!
Today, I woke up and went to class. I played my Psp in the bathroom, and some lady turned off the light when she walked out. I was like, What the fuck, you crazy bitch? Then, two people walked inside and were like, Why is the light off? And the black girl was on the phone saying, OMG. I walked into the bathroom, and there's a girl sitting in the dark! I'm hella freaked out right now!" Crazy bitch! I didn't even turn off the light. T.T I was frightened when she turned it off and I was alone in the dark. I went to class and went home. I fell asleep after I ate a sandwich. I woke up, and Thanh and Thien came by like 20 minutes later. Thien made me watch a youtube video called Voldo Dance 4. It was pretty damn funny. xD I made noodles for lunch tomorrow. The only highlight of my day is finding out how cheap Ashley can really be. It's quite appalling. But that's just one of her many hidden qualities. Worse is I tell her it's wrong of her to be that way, but she just brushes it off and tries to be cute and saying she needs to buy stuff for herself. New pair of boots? What a necessity! I almost feel like I should warn Thien, but he seems to really like her despite what he knows about her already. Oh, well. As long as it's not. . . .
Well, I'm off to write in my other blog. I must pour out my heart or else I'll suffocate. Night, all!
Monday, November 2, 2009
"Come Back to Me" -Utada Hikaru
I have two blogs. If you want to read the other one, you'll have to let me know, and I'll add you because it's on private.
I woke up at 1PM, totally KOed last night. It was Halloween, and I was excited to go to the Harvest Festival. Thien and Thanh picked me up, and we went to get Ashley. Apparently, her mom thought Thien was my new "sweetheart", and Ashley didn't try to deny it! =.= That's her future boyfriend. Well, on our way to the festival, Ashley mentioned that she went to the festival already a few weeks ago, and we found out there was no festival that day. I felt stupid and misled by the signs I saw on the freeway! But I totally blame Ashley. xD We went to Angie's and waited for half an hour about, and it was so awkward and quiet. I tried to get conversations going but to no avail. Unimportant stuff happened, skip to the party.
I ended up being the only one supplying people with real food, except for Tami's pizza and John's pie. :] I worked for hours making eggrolls and noodles. I also made salad, but Cedric din't buy RANCH!!! >:[ I'm thankful there were drinks though and shakers. So happy. Thanh made fun of the way I was shaking it. I KNOW how to shake it. I just have more fun doing it my way. ;] He said my drink was "alright" and tried to say it was unique later, but I think it was pretty damn yummy!! Someone brought bread with three different flavors including pumpkin, and I was so happy, I tried to run away with it from Thanh and Juan, but I slipped on alcohol I spilled earlier, and Thanh was cracking up and making fun of me while Thien, Juan, and Jack tried to help me up. But. . . then he dropped his beer bottle, and it was my turn to laugh and point. I beat him in melee three times, and he didn't want to believe I was better than him, so he blamed it on being drunk. I caught my buddy and his buddy making out outside in the dark, and when I told him, I grabbed a toy pistol and tiptoed over there. He said, no, wait, leave them alone. Then, he changed his mind and said wait for me! I pulled the trigger and ran away before they saw me. xD So sneaky. Jowe looked really cool in his Massive Mobster costume, deejaying with those big-ass shoulders. It was funny. Thanh got too drunk, but when I found out, he was already leaving, sick in the back of his car. I rushed over to him to see if he needed anything, and I came back with water as fast as I could. "Why is it that you came back to me so fast when I asked everyone else for water before you?" Ahh. . . . Secret! I said goodbye and thought for a bit about stuff, and Jack was drunk and asleep. I played some games and talked to Andy for like the first time ever. I slaved myself again and made noodles. I got a text around 2 saying that Thien and Thanh got home safely and that Thanh wanted to sleep in the car. Thien was worried. I was worried. I texted a few times, telling him to tell Thanh to go inside where it was safe and warm and even texted Thanh himself. I was so worried I was about to force someone to take me to his house and pester him to sleep inside. But Thien said everything would be fine, so I let it go and got a text from Thanh saying he was nice and warm in the car. Very glad. But I guess I overly panicked at him sleeping in the car. By the way, all you guys SUCK! For reasons I won't say. Stupid boys.
I went to Hooters today. It was overall disappointing, but I had fun. They said I should apply here, but I don't think I could get the job, big boobies or not. I'm not skinny or pretty enough. Even if the girls there were pretty funny-looking too. Food was okay, service bad, fun factor = 0. Jowe tried to push a piece of chicken onto his plate, and I saw this coming but did not dodge. It flew at me, and I man-screamed loudly, catching it. It was the vomit-looking/smelling one. STINKY. But somewhat yummy. That was the highlight of my day. Haha.
I still have a lot of thinking to do, finding out where my heart lies and what I should do. I'll be brave enough to tell him one day though. <3
I woke up at 1PM, totally KOed last night. It was Halloween, and I was excited to go to the Harvest Festival. Thien and Thanh picked me up, and we went to get Ashley. Apparently, her mom thought Thien was my new "sweetheart", and Ashley didn't try to deny it! =.= That's her future boyfriend. Well, on our way to the festival, Ashley mentioned that she went to the festival already a few weeks ago, and we found out there was no festival that day. I felt stupid and misled by the signs I saw on the freeway! But I totally blame Ashley. xD We went to Angie's and waited for half an hour about, and it was so awkward and quiet. I tried to get conversations going but to no avail. Unimportant stuff happened, skip to the party.
I ended up being the only one supplying people with real food, except for Tami's pizza and John's pie. :] I worked for hours making eggrolls and noodles. I also made salad, but Cedric din't buy RANCH!!! >:[ I'm thankful there were drinks though and shakers. So happy. Thanh made fun of the way I was shaking it. I KNOW how to shake it. I just have more fun doing it my way. ;] He said my drink was "alright" and tried to say it was unique later, but I think it was pretty damn yummy!! Someone brought bread with three different flavors including pumpkin, and I was so happy, I tried to run away with it from Thanh and Juan, but I slipped on alcohol I spilled earlier, and Thanh was cracking up and making fun of me while Thien, Juan, and Jack tried to help me up. But. . . then he dropped his beer bottle, and it was my turn to laugh and point. I beat him in melee three times, and he didn't want to believe I was better than him, so he blamed it on being drunk. I caught my buddy and his buddy making out outside in the dark, and when I told him, I grabbed a toy pistol and tiptoed over there. He said, no, wait, leave them alone. Then, he changed his mind and said wait for me! I pulled the trigger and ran away before they saw me. xD So sneaky. Jowe looked really cool in his Massive Mobster costume, deejaying with those big-ass shoulders. It was funny. Thanh got too drunk, but when I found out, he was already leaving, sick in the back of his car. I rushed over to him to see if he needed anything, and I came back with water as fast as I could. "Why is it that you came back to me so fast when I asked everyone else for water before you?" Ahh. . . . Secret! I said goodbye and thought for a bit about stuff, and Jack was drunk and asleep. I played some games and talked to Andy for like the first time ever. I slaved myself again and made noodles. I got a text around 2 saying that Thien and Thanh got home safely and that Thanh wanted to sleep in the car. Thien was worried. I was worried. I texted a few times, telling him to tell Thanh to go inside where it was safe and warm and even texted Thanh himself. I was so worried I was about to force someone to take me to his house and pester him to sleep inside. But Thien said everything would be fine, so I let it go and got a text from Thanh saying he was nice and warm in the car. Very glad. But I guess I overly panicked at him sleeping in the car. By the way, all you guys SUCK! For reasons I won't say. Stupid boys.
I went to Hooters today. It was overall disappointing, but I had fun. They said I should apply here, but I don't think I could get the job, big boobies or not. I'm not skinny or pretty enough. Even if the girls there were pretty funny-looking too. Food was okay, service bad, fun factor = 0. Jowe tried to push a piece of chicken onto his plate, and I saw this coming but did not dodge. It flew at me, and I man-screamed loudly, catching it. It was the vomit-looking/smelling one. STINKY. But somewhat yummy. That was the highlight of my day. Haha.
I still have a lot of thinking to do, finding out where my heart lies and what I should do. I'll be brave enough to tell him one day though. <3
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Miso-Flavored Love-01
I really believed that if I tried hard enough, I would fulfill my dream and move on in life to become an independent girl, struggling through the harsh life as an aspiring musician. Guitar in hand, microphone before me, I would take on the world and pour my whole soul into words written from my heart. Folding my leg and pressing the sole of my booted foot against the brick wall, I lifted my acoustic and raised my fingers to strum. That is, until a group of girls and guys walked by me from around the corner. Startled, I tried to stand straight but tripped over my own feet, the notes coming out in a horribly off sound.
"E-excuse me," I gasped, face slightly burning. They looked back, the girls giggling with piercing eyes. Great, they were talking about me behind raised hands, pointing as I awkwardly tugged at my guitar, hoisting it onto my back. Well, bitches will be bitches.
I continued down the street, not far from my destination where my mother was standing outside our noodle shop with my sisters, selling food on a decent sized cart. Right now, school just got off, so she was getting good business with students buying takoyaki and dumplings.
"Welcome back from school, Yuri," my mom greeted warmly. "Go on inside and eat before you help out. I'm sure they need it."
"Yeah, I will."
I sighed and walked into the noodle store, lifting the blue flaps away from my face. Behind the counter, my dad was preparing an order of ramen, his face damp from the steam rising from the several pots of broth. Behind him were my older brothers, Hotaru and Shin. While one was pounding away at dough to make the noodles, the other was cooking up some chicken, a look of concentration on his face.
"Busy day?" I asked Shin, coming up from behind him. Without stopping his work, he looked at me with a smile, his black bangs falling into his eyes.
"You bet."
"I'll help out too in a bit. Just let me get a bowl of noodles into me before I start."
"I'll get that for you, Yuri. Just put you things in the back."
I grabbed a can of soymilk from the fridge and dropped my messenger bag and guitar against the wall by the back exit, hastening to a seat at the counter. I pulled myself up and plopped down, opening the can, and taking a few deep gulps from it. Lovely.
"What kind of noodles did you want, Yuri?" Shin called out.
"Miso flavored ramen please! Large with roast pork, naruto, green onions, and tofu! And could I get some avocado onigiri too?"
"Alright. Be done in a minute."
I stretched my arms and yawned, a tear leaking from the corner of my eye. My dad was diagnol to me, fixing up a new pot of broth. Dad must be pretty tired. He works the hardest out of all of us. Every morning, he's here at 4, making fresh noodles and broth. Sometimes, I feel so helpless.
Shin slid my food to me, and I immediately dug in. A lot of people my age would hate to be in my spot, what with helping out in a small family restaurant, but I really loved it. I loved the people that visited regularly, the people I worked with, and the food. Man, oh, man, did I love the food. Even as I devoured the miso-flavored ramen I eat almost everyday, it still tasted fresh and delicious to me. This was something I really loved.
"Are you done yet?" Hotaru complained. "I'm getting sore from pounding at the flour."
"Stop whining 'cause you'll have to keep at it anyway. I'm going to cover for dad for now. He needs a break."
My dad smiled at me gratefully, taking a towel and wiping his forehead with it before retreating into the back to sit down and relax. I tied my hair up and put on my apron, ready to work for the next eight hours.
"E-excuse me," I gasped, face slightly burning. They looked back, the girls giggling with piercing eyes. Great, they were talking about me behind raised hands, pointing as I awkwardly tugged at my guitar, hoisting it onto my back. Well, bitches will be bitches.
I continued down the street, not far from my destination where my mother was standing outside our noodle shop with my sisters, selling food on a decent sized cart. Right now, school just got off, so she was getting good business with students buying takoyaki and dumplings.
"Welcome back from school, Yuri," my mom greeted warmly. "Go on inside and eat before you help out. I'm sure they need it."
"Yeah, I will."
I sighed and walked into the noodle store, lifting the blue flaps away from my face. Behind the counter, my dad was preparing an order of ramen, his face damp from the steam rising from the several pots of broth. Behind him were my older brothers, Hotaru and Shin. While one was pounding away at dough to make the noodles, the other was cooking up some chicken, a look of concentration on his face.
"Busy day?" I asked Shin, coming up from behind him. Without stopping his work, he looked at me with a smile, his black bangs falling into his eyes.
"You bet."
"I'll help out too in a bit. Just let me get a bowl of noodles into me before I start."
"I'll get that for you, Yuri. Just put you things in the back."
I grabbed a can of soymilk from the fridge and dropped my messenger bag and guitar against the wall by the back exit, hastening to a seat at the counter. I pulled myself up and plopped down, opening the can, and taking a few deep gulps from it. Lovely.
"What kind of noodles did you want, Yuri?" Shin called out.
"Miso flavored ramen please! Large with roast pork, naruto, green onions, and tofu! And could I get some avocado onigiri too?"
"Alright. Be done in a minute."
I stretched my arms and yawned, a tear leaking from the corner of my eye. My dad was diagnol to me, fixing up a new pot of broth. Dad must be pretty tired. He works the hardest out of all of us. Every morning, he's here at 4, making fresh noodles and broth. Sometimes, I feel so helpless.
Shin slid my food to me, and I immediately dug in. A lot of people my age would hate to be in my spot, what with helping out in a small family restaurant, but I really loved it. I loved the people that visited regularly, the people I worked with, and the food. Man, oh, man, did I love the food. Even as I devoured the miso-flavored ramen I eat almost everyday, it still tasted fresh and delicious to me. This was something I really loved.
"Are you done yet?" Hotaru complained. "I'm getting sore from pounding at the flour."
"Stop whining 'cause you'll have to keep at it anyway. I'm going to cover for dad for now. He needs a break."
My dad smiled at me gratefully, taking a towel and wiping his forehead with it before retreating into the back to sit down and relax. I tied my hair up and put on my apron, ready to work for the next eight hours.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Late Night Blogging
This week has been pretty decent so far. My Tuesday started off pretty badly what with my Zombie deck losing like five times in a row. What kind of stupid shit is this?! All I added was one tuner!! Ah, the woes of Yu-Gi-Oh! Anyway, off that retarded shit, and on to music class. It started out fine what with me finally being able to sing even though it was only back-up. I got to sing two songs: "All I Want" by Heart and "Nobody" by Wondergirls. [Nobody is kind of retarded.] Either way, i was happy I was finally getting some action. I didn't get to do my song yet, but it was all good. I didn't mind. What really ticked me off was when I was helping my friend sing his song [because he's just so damned horrible], but then I get my friend being a bitch and attention-whore as usual, telling me to be quiet so that SHE can hear him sing and understand how the song goes. I mean, fuck if you don't know the song and are going to get irritated by it, sit down and shut up. Why do you always have to be the center of attention? Then, she goes off on him about his bad singing and that he didn't space the lyrics. Well, it's no reason to yell at him and hurt his feelings, and who the hell told her to sing the song? I don't remember her being asked to sing it. Even so, it gives her no right to be rude and demanding things even if she did take the class before and has an amazing voice. Quite honestly, her voice is only good for RnB and that Utada-type of singing. Her voice is a no-no for rock songs. It makes me feel embarrassed for her. I don't care if I can't sing, I will talk this mad shitz if I want to, thank you very much. ;] Also, I tried asking my teacher for info on a sudden Thursday concert because I really wanted to perform, but all these people came up into a traffic jam and huddled around him. Me, being the nice and courteous girl, let them all go in front of me, so I could ask without someone rushing me and breathing down my neck, but he had to leave before I could ask him. RATS!!! I thought waiting for Juan to get out of class would make me feel better when he saw me and hugged me, but he just said a few words and continued walking without waiting for me. ASSHOLE. The moment I saw him, I felt myself brightening up, but getting brushed off like that was the cherry on top of a toe-sucking day. Thus, I wandered off to sit alone, got interrupted from my thoughts by Tami twice [no biggie], and he finally showed up to get me. I was still pissed off, but knowing that i was going to hang out with my friends that night really made me feel better.
Now here's the start of the good week. :]
We went to Del Taco, and I had my fill of tacos and some vanilla ice cream [which apparently still looked like a penis when I ate it]. I tried the caramel cheesecake for the first time, courtesy of Jowe, and it was pretty bomb. The bad thing was that it dripped onto my beloved Pooka Paw Print Scarf!! T.T But it's all good. I can wash that off! Hopefully. Then, we went to Party City and had loads of fun there. I scared Jack with a cheap plastic mask, and he said I looked like the people from The Strangers. Funny. I had fun trying on costumes with Angie, but Devona didn't join us. It was expected. I was so TORN by the Gangster costume and the Joyrider. They were both so cute! I personally like race cars and stuff, but the gangster one was so adorable. T.T I don't even remember what else I tried on. John bought a pimp costume that looked really good on him, and Jowe got the Massive Mobster which was so hilarious, it looked cute. Then, my Juanny Lovey tried on the Evil Jester, and oh my damn, did he look dorky! He was so cute, but when he put on that mask, DAMN, he ugly!!! Haha. XD But it was cute still. He looked like an overgrown kid in PJs. After that, we went to KFC and Angie's house. Nothing spectacular happened except. . . wait. Where did Lamont come from? He left us at Del Taco and somehow appeared at Party City later. Hmmm.
Now for today's news! I got to school around 11AM, and we saw some friends coming back from eating. I was so devastated that they ate at Happy Garden without me. It's okay though. All I wanted was porridge. Some stuff happened apparently, and it really was stupid, but oh well. It was expected of them. I played Yu-Gi-Oh for 2 hours and OWNED Alex's sorry-ass deck, ate some delicous chicken my grandma bought for me and that I was saving but Juan's mom cooked it, some chicken soup, and had a lovely Arizona thanks to Happy for desecrating into the Coin Star earlier that morning to produce me with a voucher for $14 and then some. While waiting for Angie, Juan left me for Gary's, as usual, and I got to hang out with a friend from high school. As expected, the following topics came up: hooka, weed, alcohol, things along those lines. Then some Asian guy did a doubletake about wondering aloud if he wanted to ask us something, thinking against it, but giving it a shot anyway. Ridalin, anyone? [Not even sure that's how it's spelled.] I was laughing my ass of when he left, but it gave me the idea to name my future cat Ridalin. Or maybe my chinchilla. Oh, and there's some weird vibe going on between my friend and some girl, and it's got me a little irritated because she was someone a good friend of mine liked, so I don't fancy the idea of any of my other friends hitting on her. *shaking fist* Angie picked us up around six, and we left for Party City again. [We just cannot get enough of it!!] I tried on Miss Wonderland, coincidentally with Angie's Tea Party Hostess. I liked the costumes. They were both cute, but I wanted to have a sexy kind of vibe, not cute. I'm temporarily tired of the cute vibe and would like to strive for cool and sexy. While secretly having the cute vibe. XD I also tried on the Game Official which was soooo cute, but Nancy wore that last year, so I just backed off and mentally saved the costume for the future Halloweens and costume events to come. Ashley came and took FOREVER deciding, but finally, I tried on the Gangster again. Juan liked it, and so did everyone else, but Ashley like the Joyrider, which they also liked. I ended up with Joyrider since I'm a car-loving girl. Not really. Thankfully, Angie paid for mine, so I'll have to repay her this month. I don't like to be in debt for long, but, man, am I happy she got it for me! I kept worrying someone would take all my size(s)! Juan wanted to leave, but when I mentioned eating at Little Caesars, he changed his mind right away. That cute fatty~ I got a pineapple pizza especially for him, and I ate lots of supreme. Yummy. We finished all the food by the time two others joined, and I felt bad there was nothing left except dor chicken. I have a good time when it's just the five to six of us. I like it when we're all together and talking instead of splitting into two groups and having different conversations. It feels more close this way. I finally got to get back on Restaurant City again, and YAY! I'm satisfied for the next two days!
Here ends my night, 3:26AM, Thursday. I hope I can perform "Forever" today with Jack on time and get to school before 10:30AM. I hope class goes well. I have to take a shower later and make a few sandwiches, eat them lovingly for my grandmother bought them for me. I think this is it. Good night~
Now here's the start of the good week. :]
We went to Del Taco, and I had my fill of tacos and some vanilla ice cream [which apparently still looked like a penis when I ate it]. I tried the caramel cheesecake for the first time, courtesy of Jowe, and it was pretty bomb. The bad thing was that it dripped onto my beloved Pooka Paw Print Scarf!! T.T But it's all good. I can wash that off! Hopefully. Then, we went to Party City and had loads of fun there. I scared Jack with a cheap plastic mask, and he said I looked like the people from The Strangers. Funny. I had fun trying on costumes with Angie, but Devona didn't join us. It was expected. I was so TORN by the Gangster costume and the Joyrider. They were both so cute! I personally like race cars and stuff, but the gangster one was so adorable. T.T I don't even remember what else I tried on. John bought a pimp costume that looked really good on him, and Jowe got the Massive Mobster which was so hilarious, it looked cute. Then, my Juanny Lovey tried on the Evil Jester, and oh my damn, did he look dorky! He was so cute, but when he put on that mask, DAMN, he ugly!!! Haha. XD But it was cute still. He looked like an overgrown kid in PJs. After that, we went to KFC and Angie's house. Nothing spectacular happened except. . . wait. Where did Lamont come from? He left us at Del Taco and somehow appeared at Party City later. Hmmm.
Now for today's news! I got to school around 11AM, and we saw some friends coming back from eating. I was so devastated that they ate at Happy Garden without me. It's okay though. All I wanted was porridge. Some stuff happened apparently, and it really was stupid, but oh well. It was expected of them. I played Yu-Gi-Oh for 2 hours and OWNED Alex's sorry-ass deck, ate some delicous chicken my grandma bought for me and that I was saving but Juan's mom cooked it, some chicken soup, and had a lovely Arizona thanks to Happy for desecrating into the Coin Star earlier that morning to produce me with a voucher for $14 and then some. While waiting for Angie, Juan left me for Gary's, as usual, and I got to hang out with a friend from high school. As expected, the following topics came up: hooka, weed, alcohol, things along those lines. Then some Asian guy did a doubletake about wondering aloud if he wanted to ask us something, thinking against it, but giving it a shot anyway. Ridalin, anyone? [Not even sure that's how it's spelled.] I was laughing my ass of when he left, but it gave me the idea to name my future cat Ridalin. Or maybe my chinchilla. Oh, and there's some weird vibe going on between my friend and some girl, and it's got me a little irritated because she was someone a good friend of mine liked, so I don't fancy the idea of any of my other friends hitting on her. *shaking fist* Angie picked us up around six, and we left for Party City again. [We just cannot get enough of it!!] I tried on Miss Wonderland, coincidentally with Angie's Tea Party Hostess. I liked the costumes. They were both cute, but I wanted to have a sexy kind of vibe, not cute. I'm temporarily tired of the cute vibe and would like to strive for cool and sexy. While secretly having the cute vibe. XD I also tried on the Game Official which was soooo cute, but Nancy wore that last year, so I just backed off and mentally saved the costume for the future Halloweens and costume events to come. Ashley came and took FOREVER deciding, but finally, I tried on the Gangster again. Juan liked it, and so did everyone else, but Ashley like the Joyrider, which they also liked. I ended up with Joyrider since I'm a car-loving girl. Not really. Thankfully, Angie paid for mine, so I'll have to repay her this month. I don't like to be in debt for long, but, man, am I happy she got it for me! I kept worrying someone would take all my size(s)! Juan wanted to leave, but when I mentioned eating at Little Caesars, he changed his mind right away. That cute fatty~ I got a pineapple pizza especially for him, and I ate lots of supreme. Yummy. We finished all the food by the time two others joined, and I felt bad there was nothing left except dor chicken. I have a good time when it's just the five to six of us. I like it when we're all together and talking instead of splitting into two groups and having different conversations. It feels more close this way. I finally got to get back on Restaurant City again, and YAY! I'm satisfied for the next two days!
Here ends my night, 3:26AM, Thursday. I hope I can perform "Forever" today with Jack on time and get to school before 10:30AM. I hope class goes well. I have to take a shower later and make a few sandwiches, eat them lovingly for my grandmother bought them for me. I think this is it. Good night~
Monday, October 5, 2009
"Memory"-Younha featuring Tablo
Aww, look at my Juanny sleeping. :3 He's so cute. He finally fulfilled his promise although he didn't do it when he was supposed to. All in all, some parts were unfulfilling, but others were surprising and quite satisfying. [He still owes me a foot massage!! XD]
I'm talking to John right now, and he can't sleep. I suggested a bubble bath, and now, I really want one. Too bad Juan's bath water doesn't run hot, and there is no plug. Plus, the bathtub is usually dirty and ant infested. I cry. T.T
This weekend, I stayed at my grandma's house. I was happy, but it was unfulfilling since I was only there for the weekend. I really love my grandma and hope she relaxes more.
There's going to be a barbecue coming up soon, so I'm a little excited. I'll be making either noodle soup or chicken curry. Both sound good, but it'll be hard for me to make the rice since I don't have a rice cooker. Which leads me to thinking. . .
. . .I really can't wait to get a job and move out. I want to be independent and show everyone I can be responsible and take care of myself as well as Juan. I also want to have money to buy things for my friends and the people I love. I so want my grandma to go to an all day spa.
ANYWAY, back to the barbecue topic. I want to watch some movies and stuff, but I hope there's no drinking. Why do all the parties have to have alcohol? It's perfectly fine without it. I'm also not really looking forward to the bonfire. It's polluting the atmosphere! I know it's fun and all to be around the fire, but at the same time, I don't want anyone getting hurt out there in the fields, which leads me to. . .
. . .my friends do stupid things. Well, some of them do. It makes me worry about them even though I say I don't care about friends. T.T I always wonder if everyone is alright and if they're safe, if they're happy. I can't stand the thought of one of my friend's unhappy. No one deserves to be down and about. But I can't make everyone happy, especially when I barely know the people.
Ooh, I can't wait to play TMNT again on the Wii. It was so fun! I also feel like playing melee right now. . . . O.o
Recently, I apologized to a friend about a misunderstanding because I didn't want to jeopardize her friendship with a really good guy we both know. It's been a day or two, and I don't know if she got the message, but I hope she's not mad anymore and can forgive me. It's been bugging me since I found out how badly she took it. If she doesn't forgive me, oh well. There's nothing else I can do. I can't expect everyone to forgive me for my mistakes.
Well, it's almost 4:00AM now, and I should be getting some sleep in the bed I fixed up. So softy and warmy. <3 Ahh. . . . Ooh, and I forgot about the horchata my grandma bought for me! I hope it's still good when I wake up!! Please, wait for me, horchata!
I'm probably not going to sleep right away, but I'll be going now anyway. XD Good night to you nonexistent readers!
I'm talking to John right now, and he can't sleep. I suggested a bubble bath, and now, I really want one. Too bad Juan's bath water doesn't run hot, and there is no plug. Plus, the bathtub is usually dirty and ant infested. I cry. T.T
This weekend, I stayed at my grandma's house. I was happy, but it was unfulfilling since I was only there for the weekend. I really love my grandma and hope she relaxes more.
There's going to be a barbecue coming up soon, so I'm a little excited. I'll be making either noodle soup or chicken curry. Both sound good, but it'll be hard for me to make the rice since I don't have a rice cooker. Which leads me to thinking. . .
. . .I really can't wait to get a job and move out. I want to be independent and show everyone I can be responsible and take care of myself as well as Juan. I also want to have money to buy things for my friends and the people I love. I so want my grandma to go to an all day spa.
ANYWAY, back to the barbecue topic. I want to watch some movies and stuff, but I hope there's no drinking. Why do all the parties have to have alcohol? It's perfectly fine without it. I'm also not really looking forward to the bonfire. It's polluting the atmosphere! I know it's fun and all to be around the fire, but at the same time, I don't want anyone getting hurt out there in the fields, which leads me to. . .
. . .my friends do stupid things. Well, some of them do. It makes me worry about them even though I say I don't care about friends. T.T I always wonder if everyone is alright and if they're safe, if they're happy. I can't stand the thought of one of my friend's unhappy. No one deserves to be down and about. But I can't make everyone happy, especially when I barely know the people.
Ooh, I can't wait to play TMNT again on the Wii. It was so fun! I also feel like playing melee right now. . . . O.o
Recently, I apologized to a friend about a misunderstanding because I didn't want to jeopardize her friendship with a really good guy we both know. It's been a day or two, and I don't know if she got the message, but I hope she's not mad anymore and can forgive me. It's been bugging me since I found out how badly she took it. If she doesn't forgive me, oh well. There's nothing else I can do. I can't expect everyone to forgive me for my mistakes.
Well, it's almost 4:00AM now, and I should be getting some sleep in the bed I fixed up. So softy and warmy. <3 Ahh. . . . Ooh, and I forgot about the horchata my grandma bought for me! I hope it's still good when I wake up!! Please, wait for me, horchata!
I'm probably not going to sleep right away, but I'll be going now anyway. XD Good night to you nonexistent readers!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Promises
I'm sick and tired of that fucking asshole making promises he can't keep and putting things off one day after the next. He's so fucking selfish sometimes and can't think about anyone but himself. I told him time and time again that I fucking hate it when he says he's going to do something but doesn't in the end. It bugs the hell out of me. Sometimes, I just can't fucking stand him and hate him so damned much, and I wonder, why the fuck am I going out with a useless dick like him? Am I fucking stupid for staying with him? Probably, yeah. He can't fucking do shit and can't do anything right most of the time, he's lazy and irresponsible, childish and immature. . . . The list can go on endlessly!
I mean, I try to teach him and help him with his homework, but the fucking shit goes and gives the excuse, "I'm not good at this. Can we do something else?" And he gets mad on top of that! What kind of a sorry excuse is that? I'm teaching him for a reason, and that's to help him understand things better. Obviously I'm not going to try and teach him something he's good at or already knows. How stupid can you be? I even pointed this out, and he gets defensive and pissed off. Then, he'll complain, "Well, I failed this test because someone didn't want to teach me." And then he forgets to study and blames it on me. "Oh, well, I told you to remind me." Like that's my fault. Like I don't remind him constantly anyway.
I'll bet he didn't even do the laundry like I asked him to. No fucking shit.
But it's so fucking stupid that in the end, I forgive his dumbass. But for now, I'm fucking pissed off as hell and wouldn't mind if a plane landed right on top of him.
I mean, I try to teach him and help him with his homework, but the fucking shit goes and gives the excuse, "I'm not good at this. Can we do something else?" And he gets mad on top of that! What kind of a sorry excuse is that? I'm teaching him for a reason, and that's to help him understand things better. Obviously I'm not going to try and teach him something he's good at or already knows. How stupid can you be? I even pointed this out, and he gets defensive and pissed off. Then, he'll complain, "Well, I failed this test because someone didn't want to teach me." And then he forgets to study and blames it on me. "Oh, well, I told you to remind me." Like that's my fault. Like I don't remind him constantly anyway.
I'll bet he didn't even do the laundry like I asked him to. No fucking shit.
But it's so fucking stupid that in the end, I forgive his dumbass. But for now, I'm fucking pissed off as hell and wouldn't mind if a plane landed right on top of him.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Completion
The sky merges with the ocean,
A perfect image of completion.
When the sun shines brightly
And drives away the grey clouds,
Surely I'll see you again
When our paths collide.
As we stand under the endless sky,
I hear you say aloud,
" What is it that you want from me?"
In a kind voice. and I reply:
"If you'll stay by me forever,
I won't need anything else.
Holding your hand in mine,
I'm not so scared of the future anymore.
If only once in a while you'll look at me
And smile and tell me with a sure face
' There is a future.'"
I want to know that when I wake up,
I'll find you asleep beside me.
Insecurity will be washed away,
And the sense of inferiority fades
Because nothing else matters
But the time we have together.
Everything changes with time,
But does that mean we will change as well?
I look in your eyes for an answer,
But you don't smile when you say:
" Memories are precious to me,
And I don't want to lose them,
But now in my heart I feel restless
And I have become weary.
Afraid to lose that warm feeling,
I'm sorry for these words to come out, but
' There seems to be no future.'"
I want to know that when I fall,
You'll be behind me for support.
Loneliness will cease to exist,
And neglection will be a mere tale
Because I know you're always here
Even when you've gone.
The sky merges with the ocean,
A perfect image of completion.
When the sun shines brightly
And drives away the grey clouds,
Surely I'll see you again
When our paths collide.
I want to know although you've moved on,
Our memories are still strong.
Love drifts away on a warm wind,
And life sighs departing from sorrow
Because the sun will shine once more
And replenish my soul.
The sky merges with the ocean,
A perfect image of one.
When I see the white light of daybreak
And a new day has sprung,
Surely I'll see you again
When our paths collide
A perfect image of completion.
When the sun shines brightly
And drives away the grey clouds,
Surely I'll see you again
When our paths collide.
As we stand under the endless sky,
I hear you say aloud,
" What is it that you want from me?"
In a kind voice. and I reply:
"If you'll stay by me forever,
I won't need anything else.
Holding your hand in mine,
I'm not so scared of the future anymore.
If only once in a while you'll look at me
And smile and tell me with a sure face
' There is a future.'"
I want to know that when I wake up,
I'll find you asleep beside me.
Insecurity will be washed away,
And the sense of inferiority fades
Because nothing else matters
But the time we have together.
Everything changes with time,
But does that mean we will change as well?
I look in your eyes for an answer,
But you don't smile when you say:
" Memories are precious to me,
And I don't want to lose them,
But now in my heart I feel restless
And I have become weary.
Afraid to lose that warm feeling,
I'm sorry for these words to come out, but
' There seems to be no future.'"
I want to know that when I fall,
You'll be behind me for support.
Loneliness will cease to exist,
And neglection will be a mere tale
Because I know you're always here
Even when you've gone.
The sky merges with the ocean,
A perfect image of completion.
When the sun shines brightly
And drives away the grey clouds,
Surely I'll see you again
When our paths collide.
I want to know although you've moved on,
Our memories are still strong.
Love drifts away on a warm wind,
And life sighs departing from sorrow
Because the sun will shine once more
And replenish my soul.
The sky merges with the ocean,
A perfect image of one.
When I see the white light of daybreak
And a new day has sprung,
Surely I'll see you again
When our paths collide
Eyes of the World
The last thing I want to say
Is something I will surely regret,
But the last thing I want is
For my heart to break,
And now, I'm unsure.
In the eyes of the world,
Aren't we just grand?
" The traces of love is in their smile.
You see them like that and know
Nothing can break them away."
The first thing I want to tell you
Is how much you mean to me
And the changes you've bestowed,
But the last thing I need to say is
How much I can't bear to let go.
In the eyes of the world,
How imperfect are we?
" They were so different from each other.
It was so obvious that
They were never meant to be."
The last thing I want to say
Is something that I'll regret one day,
But not saying those words
Could end up with " what if's"
And I don't want that.
In the eyes of the world,
Nothing is broken.
Is something I will surely regret,
But the last thing I want is
For my heart to break,
And now, I'm unsure.
In the eyes of the world,
Aren't we just grand?
" The traces of love is in their smile.
You see them like that and know
Nothing can break them away."
The first thing I want to tell you
Is how much you mean to me
And the changes you've bestowed,
But the last thing I need to say is
How much I can't bear to let go.
In the eyes of the world,
How imperfect are we?
" They were so different from each other.
It was so obvious that
They were never meant to be."
The last thing I want to say
Is something that I'll regret one day,
But not saying those words
Could end up with " what if's"
And I don't want that.
In the eyes of the world,
Nothing is broken.
Changing
It's nothing but a faded memory.
Things change with time, but
I feel the sun's warmth on my skin,
And I'm reminded of you.
I look back to see what's left behind.
Nothing but these fragments remain,
And when I turn to the sky for help,
The sky I saw every night as you held me,
Everything is different.
The sun comes up, and I'm
Another day older than yesterday.
The wind tosses my hair to the side,
And the sky is still the same.
I look out my window to see the stars,
And the moon is still bright and pale.
All is the same but yet it's changed
Because you're gone.
It's nothing but a record on repeat.
Things remain as others fade, but
I hear the wind calling out to me,
And I am reminded of you.
I remember the glow on your back
As I followed closely behind you
In the footsteps that are still here,
And when I look to my heart for help,
Everything is broken.
The sun comes up again,
And it doesn't feel right anymore.
The wind blows me to the bridge,
And the sky and water no longer merge.
I look to see the stars,
But the sky is hidden by vast clouds.
All is the same as it once was
Because you're gone.
Things change with time, but
I feel the sun's warmth on my skin,
And I'm reminded of you.
I look back to see what's left behind.
Nothing but these fragments remain,
And when I turn to the sky for help,
The sky I saw every night as you held me,
Everything is different.
The sun comes up, and I'm
Another day older than yesterday.
The wind tosses my hair to the side,
And the sky is still the same.
I look out my window to see the stars,
And the moon is still bright and pale.
All is the same but yet it's changed
Because you're gone.
It's nothing but a record on repeat.
Things remain as others fade, but
I hear the wind calling out to me,
And I am reminded of you.
I remember the glow on your back
As I followed closely behind you
In the footsteps that are still here,
And when I look to my heart for help,
Everything is broken.
The sun comes up again,
And it doesn't feel right anymore.
The wind blows me to the bridge,
And the sky and water no longer merge.
I look to see the stars,
But the sky is hidden by vast clouds.
All is the same as it once was
Because you're gone.
Be My Wings and Fly with Me
lET mY hEART bREATHE fREELY;
i dON'T wANT tO gIVE iNTO tHE pRESSURE.
hOLD mE uP wHEN i'M gONNA fALL,
aND bE mY wINGS.
lIFT mE uP hIGH sO i cAN sEE
tHE wORLD tHROUGH yOUR eYES.
lIFT mE uP tO tHE sKY sO i cAN
sTRETCH oUT mY fINGETIPS aND tOUCH tHE sTARS.
bE mY wINGS aND fLY wITH mE
eNDLESSY aGAINST tIME.
iF i'M wITH yOU, i cAN sEE cLEARLY,
aND i'M hAPPY tHIS wAY.
bE mY eYES aND gUIDE mE tO
a pLACE wHERE i cAN bE wITH yOU aLONE.
iF aLL eLSE fAILS, iT dOESN'T mATTER
iF yOU wILL bE mY wINGS.
lET mY hEART fOLLOW iT'S pATH
wITHOUT aNYMORE pRESSURE.
iF mY hEART fEELS tHAT sUBTLE lOVE,
tHEN i rEALLY bELIEVE iT'S lOVE.
bE mY wINGS aND fLY wITH mE.
yOUR wORDS aRE aLL i nEED.
i wANT tO fLY eNDLESSLY wITH yOU
tHROUGH aN iLLUMINATED sKY.
i dON'T wANT tO gIVE iNTO tHE pRESSURE.
hOLD mE uP wHEN i'M gONNA fALL,
aND bE mY wINGS.
lIFT mE uP hIGH sO i cAN sEE
tHE wORLD tHROUGH yOUR eYES.
lIFT mE uP tO tHE sKY sO i cAN
sTRETCH oUT mY fINGETIPS aND tOUCH tHE sTARS.
bE mY wINGS aND fLY wITH mE
eNDLESSY aGAINST tIME.
iF i'M wITH yOU, i cAN sEE cLEARLY,
aND i'M hAPPY tHIS wAY.
bE mY eYES aND gUIDE mE tO
a pLACE wHERE i cAN bE wITH yOU aLONE.
iF aLL eLSE fAILS, iT dOESN'T mATTER
iF yOU wILL bE mY wINGS.
lET mY hEART fOLLOW iT'S pATH
wITHOUT aNYMORE pRESSURE.
iF mY hEART fEELS tHAT sUBTLE lOVE,
tHEN i rEALLY bELIEVE iT'S lOVE.
bE mY wINGS aND fLY wITH mE.
yOUR wORDS aRE aLL i nEED.
i wANT tO fLY eNDLESSLY wITH yOU
tHROUGH aN iLLUMINATED sKY.
Here Beside You
I wanted to erase all that was important to me,
But when it came to my heart,
My heart that you held so dearly,
I couldn't take another step forward.
I wanted to forget all the painful memories,
But the path we once walked
Still show your footprints clearly,
And I couldn't push away the image.
I wanted to block out all the noise,
But from the simplest image,
Your voice was beside my ear
Just as if you were here beside me.
I wanted to become numb from all feelings,
But your presence continues to linger within me,
And my body can still recall soft caresses
That I would probably never feel again.
I wanted to sleep away everything,
But images of your sincere smile captivate me,
And I really do just want to sleep
So I can dream of you in all of your perfection.
What I really wanted was just to be with you,
Even as I denied what everyone else saw.
What I really wanted was just to tell you how I felt;
What a weak voice I speak up in.
And if I really did just want to be with you,
I would have held on patiently,
And waited even as I whisper to myself,
"I really miss you . . . ." though you remain beside me.
And if I really did just want to be with you,
Then nothing anyone said would have mattered to me,
And I would have gone on blissfully ignorant
To how dim and grey it all really seemed.
And I really do just want to be with you,
So that's why I'm still here now.
You're beside me but still I have to wait
Until daybreak shines through the empty sky.
But when it came to my heart,
My heart that you held so dearly,
I couldn't take another step forward.
I wanted to forget all the painful memories,
But the path we once walked
Still show your footprints clearly,
And I couldn't push away the image.
I wanted to block out all the noise,
But from the simplest image,
Your voice was beside my ear
Just as if you were here beside me.
I wanted to become numb from all feelings,
But your presence continues to linger within me,
And my body can still recall soft caresses
That I would probably never feel again.
I wanted to sleep away everything,
But images of your sincere smile captivate me,
And I really do just want to sleep
So I can dream of you in all of your perfection.
What I really wanted was just to be with you,
Even as I denied what everyone else saw.
What I really wanted was just to tell you how I felt;
What a weak voice I speak up in.
And if I really did just want to be with you,
I would have held on patiently,
And waited even as I whisper to myself,
"I really miss you . . . ." though you remain beside me.
And if I really did just want to be with you,
Then nothing anyone said would have mattered to me,
And I would have gone on blissfully ignorant
To how dim and grey it all really seemed.
And I really do just want to be with you,
So that's why I'm still here now.
You're beside me but still I have to wait
Until daybreak shines through the empty sky.
"1 Minute, 1 Second"-Epik High
I really love him, but I wonder if he understands how much I love him. Am I even worthy of loving him?
Sometimes, I don't believe in myself.
I must be such a pain and hassle for him to handle. I can't do much; I have nothing to offer. But he still sticks by me? Why?
. . . I can't do anything right.
When he holds me in the morning, I wake up smiling, his cheek pressed against mine.
And I would wish it never ends.
I want to be the kind of girl that he can depend on and love whole-heartedly. I want to know that he loves me too and not just take his word for it. I want to know that when I wake up, he'll be beside me. I want to know that he'll catch me at all times without hesitation. And I know that he will. And he is mine. How I cherish him. So lovingly he embraces me. So warmly he looks into my eyes. There is not an ounce of doubt in those perfect orbs of life.
But I can't do anything right. I can't even love him like I told myself I would love someone. I'm always angry with him and disappointed in him. I'm always ashamed, always yelling and objecting. Maybe I expect too much of him.
Sometimes I feel like breaking up with him. Maybe I use the excuse of my lack of experience dating to try to get away. But that's not entirely true. I just can't handle not having everything go my way. But in the end, I really don't want to break up. Because I need him. Because I want him all for myself.
Because I love him.
I always run away from him. I'm always testing him. But I need to stop that and learn I'm not an easy girl to please, that I can't keep constantly doing this to him. I know I think that he doesn't know me at all, and maybe that is true, but he is such a simple person that how could I blame him for not understanding how I feel? He's the kind of guy I have to tell him how I feel in full details, but that's okay. This is just something he'll have to meet halfway with me and cooperate with me.
He is someone I truly love and want to be happy with. It's just there's got to be a lot of changing to do.
He is someone I will always protect, someone I will always cherish.
And when he holds me, I know he loves me.
Sometimes, I don't believe in myself.
I must be such a pain and hassle for him to handle. I can't do much; I have nothing to offer. But he still sticks by me? Why?
. . . I can't do anything right.
When he holds me in the morning, I wake up smiling, his cheek pressed against mine.
And I would wish it never ends.
I want to be the kind of girl that he can depend on and love whole-heartedly. I want to know that he loves me too and not just take his word for it. I want to know that when I wake up, he'll be beside me. I want to know that he'll catch me at all times without hesitation. And I know that he will. And he is mine. How I cherish him. So lovingly he embraces me. So warmly he looks into my eyes. There is not an ounce of doubt in those perfect orbs of life.
But I can't do anything right. I can't even love him like I told myself I would love someone. I'm always angry with him and disappointed in him. I'm always ashamed, always yelling and objecting. Maybe I expect too much of him.
Sometimes I feel like breaking up with him. Maybe I use the excuse of my lack of experience dating to try to get away. But that's not entirely true. I just can't handle not having everything go my way. But in the end, I really don't want to break up. Because I need him. Because I want him all for myself.
Because I love him.
I always run away from him. I'm always testing him. But I need to stop that and learn I'm not an easy girl to please, that I can't keep constantly doing this to him. I know I think that he doesn't know me at all, and maybe that is true, but he is such a simple person that how could I blame him for not understanding how I feel? He's the kind of guy I have to tell him how I feel in full details, but that's okay. This is just something he'll have to meet halfway with me and cooperate with me.
He is someone I truly love and want to be happy with. It's just there's got to be a lot of changing to do.
He is someone I will always protect, someone I will always cherish.
And when he holds me, I know he loves me.
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